Well. I hope you enjoyed my past posts and put them to memory. I've now deleted them after receiving some advice and feedback. I put too much online. I have known this could be an issue and for a while I thought of just throwing caution to the wind and putting it all out on the line.
However, I've know realized a few things: A. I shouldn't blog when I'm upset, as much as I like to share and miss having someone very close to confide in. B. I sound sorta pathetic and lame when I do and I'm really not that pathetic or lame (at least most of the time.) C. This blog was started to be a positive document, not a negative one and I've dwelled to much about negative stuff when there's tons to be positive about. D. It's not nice to blog about people - even if I think I'm being discreet, it's not nice and mean people suck.
That's four reasons that provide more than enough reasons to clean up the background.
When you get knocked down, how fast are you gonna get up? I'm resolved to changing my answer to... as quickly as possible! (possible being quickly! LOL)
So thanks for all the feedback everyone. See you on the Twitter-sphere and internets!
Justin
Monday, March 1, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Feeling Energized!
It’s a hopeful title I’ll admit but I think I’ve had a bit of an epiphany (if it’s possible to perceive an epiphany – is that a contradiction in terms?)
As many of you who read this or follow my Tweets, I’ve been back in London since August 2009 after 10 years in Toronto, most of which I spent either working at Toronto City Hall or engaging City politicians as a government relations and business development manager for Skymeter Corporation, a hi-tech firm that has developed advanced GPS for Road User Charging applications.
It’s been quite an adjustment for me to make. I love London but there were things that drove me to move to Toronto in 1998, aside from my ex-wife’s desire to work in Marketing in the big City. I was 27 then, newly married and unsure of my way in the world but determined to do something. I’d spent most of my 20’s languishing in London’s restaurant community as a short-order cook, trying to figure out what to do with my life. I feel as though my time in Toronto was a kind of real-life Master’s Degree in municipal politics and business, community engagement and organizing and interestingly, in Transportation Economics.
Lacking any specific hobbies, I’ve always engaged deeply in whatever job I find myself pursuing and dig deep to learn as much as I can and develop expertise in the subject matter. Being the level of government closest to our daily lives, Municipal governments offer a unique perspective from which to see how people relate, where our garbage goes, the costs of service delivery and headier topics about the theories of governance itself. I feel very lucky and thankful to have had these experiences and to have known the people I’ve met along the way. I also gained a huge number of transferable skills along the way.
The process I’ve been on has lasted for sometime now and it will continue. It is the path of searching for the meaning of one’s life. Why am I here? What unique gift do I have to offer the world and how do I go about giving it? While I say it will continue – not being a fireman, a lawyer or a doctor but a liberal arts generalist offers lifelong learning and opportunity for change, I believe I’ve come to the conclusion that just sitting around waiting for someone to hire me is also not my highest and best use of time, nor will it lead to any greater opportunities.
For the first few months in London I had my head turned, looking back at Toronto and trying to figure out ways to get back there. I’ve pushed back both at London people who expressed distaste for Toronto and Torontonians who are mystified by what could possibly attract someone to London. And I have my own internal conflicts. I love Toronto but it also caused my much pain. I love London but one always has deep-seeded feelings about one’s hometown. When I left London, I can’t say it wasn’t exciting. I’m sure this is natural.
The epiphany I’ve had though is that everything that I want to be and do in the world, I can do in London and as a few people have noted, London offers the opportunity to be a bigger fish in a smaller bowl. Toronto is the opposite for good and bad – there’s an anonymity in the big City and plenty of others to pick up the ball and roll with it. At 350,000 people, London is not tiny either.
I’ve met a great group of people here. And there are surely more that I will meet in the coming weeks as I engage in a new mission.
I suppose part of my blockage is financial and I don’t mean to minimize the hard times that lie ahead. However, I am a firm believer that a) life always provides and b) money follows passion.
So here it is: I am born to be a community organizer. My skills are general but my passion is specific: there are wrongs in the world that need to be addressed. While I can debate vociferously, I am not convinced that any one view prevails. I tend to be a lefty but I can accept many conservative arguments too – that left to their own devices, individuals can achieve great things. I am as much an economic agnostic as I am a religious agnostic. There really is no way to know the ultimate truths but there are a lot of great sounding theories and ultimately, if we treat everyone with respect and kindness, work on a consensus model, we can solve many of the problems, individual and societal that now confront us.
I have been a Liberal because I find it to be a balance of left and right that makes most sense. I’m pragmatic. I digress.
I am now engaging on what I’d like to call a Listening Tour. I’ve possibly waited a bit too long to do this but everything happens for a reason. Without the time to decompress and come to terms with the situation I have found myself in (or where my life has led me to this point) I could not come to the place that I am. My friend Karen Bell probably knows what I’m saying quite well. The universe sends us messages in such obvious yet sometimes hard to see ways.
What makes me tick? My Grandpa was a White Collar Unionist. A Mechanical Engineer who identified more with the boys on the line at Dowty Rotol (Rolls Royce’s Aero-engine firm) than he did with the front office. I’ve grown up in a house where political discussion was frequent at the dinner table, with Anglican parents who are accepting of all races, creeds and colours. In High School my heros were Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Pierre Trudeau and well, Michael Jordan. I wrote essays about PCBs in Pottersburg Creek, knocked on doors against the Mulroney Government and the Free Trade Agreement and in my early 20’s, I worked for Greenpeace. I was a high achieving Boy Scout, an altar boy (Anglican, please withhold jokes) a High School Basketball player/addict and a bit of a late bloomer and never felt like I was part of the in crowd.
In other words, I have been a fighter for minority rights, an advocate for social and environmental justice and a one-time athlete. And I’m now re-inspired by Nike’s Just Do It campaign – Life knocks you down, how quick are you gonna get back up?
Another digression but here’s the point. I am beginning a Listening Tour. I want to get out and meet with community leaders and those involved to identify opportunities to get involved in building London’s democratic capacity. I enter this with a couple of thoughts: Voter turnout is low with an average in the 2006 Municipal Election at 40%. People do not feel that City Hall engages them enough. Our community continues to grow at the edges while existing areas suffer from lack of investment. Sprawl is making us more car dependent and reducing the efficiency and sustainability/viability of public transit. Young people do not feel engaged or that there is much reason for them to remain in our community. As with many Canadian Cities, we don’t do a fantastic job at integrating new Canadians.
At the same time, there are many outstanding community organizations already. That’s part of my need to get out and listen, to identify gaps that I can apply my experience, expertise, knowledge and natural capabilities and passions to solving. I am therefore appointing myself as a City Councillor-at-large. Unelected of course but also unpaid (for the time-being.)
The question I want you to ask is: How can you help me? Thanks for reading!
As many of you who read this or follow my Tweets, I’ve been back in London since August 2009 after 10 years in Toronto, most of which I spent either working at Toronto City Hall or engaging City politicians as a government relations and business development manager for Skymeter Corporation, a hi-tech firm that has developed advanced GPS for Road User Charging applications.
It’s been quite an adjustment for me to make. I love London but there were things that drove me to move to Toronto in 1998, aside from my ex-wife’s desire to work in Marketing in the big City. I was 27 then, newly married and unsure of my way in the world but determined to do something. I’d spent most of my 20’s languishing in London’s restaurant community as a short-order cook, trying to figure out what to do with my life. I feel as though my time in Toronto was a kind of real-life Master’s Degree in municipal politics and business, community engagement and organizing and interestingly, in Transportation Economics.
Lacking any specific hobbies, I’ve always engaged deeply in whatever job I find myself pursuing and dig deep to learn as much as I can and develop expertise in the subject matter. Being the level of government closest to our daily lives, Municipal governments offer a unique perspective from which to see how people relate, where our garbage goes, the costs of service delivery and headier topics about the theories of governance itself. I feel very lucky and thankful to have had these experiences and to have known the people I’ve met along the way. I also gained a huge number of transferable skills along the way.
The process I’ve been on has lasted for sometime now and it will continue. It is the path of searching for the meaning of one’s life. Why am I here? What unique gift do I have to offer the world and how do I go about giving it? While I say it will continue – not being a fireman, a lawyer or a doctor but a liberal arts generalist offers lifelong learning and opportunity for change, I believe I’ve come to the conclusion that just sitting around waiting for someone to hire me is also not my highest and best use of time, nor will it lead to any greater opportunities.
For the first few months in London I had my head turned, looking back at Toronto and trying to figure out ways to get back there. I’ve pushed back both at London people who expressed distaste for Toronto and Torontonians who are mystified by what could possibly attract someone to London. And I have my own internal conflicts. I love Toronto but it also caused my much pain. I love London but one always has deep-seeded feelings about one’s hometown. When I left London, I can’t say it wasn’t exciting. I’m sure this is natural.
The epiphany I’ve had though is that everything that I want to be and do in the world, I can do in London and as a few people have noted, London offers the opportunity to be a bigger fish in a smaller bowl. Toronto is the opposite for good and bad – there’s an anonymity in the big City and plenty of others to pick up the ball and roll with it. At 350,000 people, London is not tiny either.
I’ve met a great group of people here. And there are surely more that I will meet in the coming weeks as I engage in a new mission.
I suppose part of my blockage is financial and I don’t mean to minimize the hard times that lie ahead. However, I am a firm believer that a) life always provides and b) money follows passion.
So here it is: I am born to be a community organizer. My skills are general but my passion is specific: there are wrongs in the world that need to be addressed. While I can debate vociferously, I am not convinced that any one view prevails. I tend to be a lefty but I can accept many conservative arguments too – that left to their own devices, individuals can achieve great things. I am as much an economic agnostic as I am a religious agnostic. There really is no way to know the ultimate truths but there are a lot of great sounding theories and ultimately, if we treat everyone with respect and kindness, work on a consensus model, we can solve many of the problems, individual and societal that now confront us.
I have been a Liberal because I find it to be a balance of left and right that makes most sense. I’m pragmatic. I digress.
I am now engaging on what I’d like to call a Listening Tour. I’ve possibly waited a bit too long to do this but everything happens for a reason. Without the time to decompress and come to terms with the situation I have found myself in (or where my life has led me to this point) I could not come to the place that I am. My friend Karen Bell probably knows what I’m saying quite well. The universe sends us messages in such obvious yet sometimes hard to see ways.
What makes me tick? My Grandpa was a White Collar Unionist. A Mechanical Engineer who identified more with the boys on the line at Dowty Rotol (Rolls Royce’s Aero-engine firm) than he did with the front office. I’ve grown up in a house where political discussion was frequent at the dinner table, with Anglican parents who are accepting of all races, creeds and colours. In High School my heros were Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Pierre Trudeau and well, Michael Jordan. I wrote essays about PCBs in Pottersburg Creek, knocked on doors against the Mulroney Government and the Free Trade Agreement and in my early 20’s, I worked for Greenpeace. I was a high achieving Boy Scout, an altar boy (Anglican, please withhold jokes) a High School Basketball player/addict and a bit of a late bloomer and never felt like I was part of the in crowd.
In other words, I have been a fighter for minority rights, an advocate for social and environmental justice and a one-time athlete. And I’m now re-inspired by Nike’s Just Do It campaign – Life knocks you down, how quick are you gonna get back up?
Another digression but here’s the point. I am beginning a Listening Tour. I want to get out and meet with community leaders and those involved to identify opportunities to get involved in building London’s democratic capacity. I enter this with a couple of thoughts: Voter turnout is low with an average in the 2006 Municipal Election at 40%. People do not feel that City Hall engages them enough. Our community continues to grow at the edges while existing areas suffer from lack of investment. Sprawl is making us more car dependent and reducing the efficiency and sustainability/viability of public transit. Young people do not feel engaged or that there is much reason for them to remain in our community. As with many Canadian Cities, we don’t do a fantastic job at integrating new Canadians.
At the same time, there are many outstanding community organizations already. That’s part of my need to get out and listen, to identify gaps that I can apply my experience, expertise, knowledge and natural capabilities and passions to solving. I am therefore appointing myself as a City Councillor-at-large. Unelected of course but also unpaid (for the time-being.)
The question I want you to ask is: How can you help me? Thanks for reading!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
7:16 Saturday
So... finally got some sleep. Not great sleep but sleep. That 5:11am post was genuine and sincere about a desire to start afresh. I slept to about 11:00 am and got up.
So today, I've been doing my chores - Laundry mostly but I also cleaned up this little room that I now call home. I had some great lunch and then sadly around 5:00 I laid down and had a nap. That might mess up my night's sleep but I think I needed it.
I shaved my head today. Don't get alarmed, it's just something I do when my hair gets a bit messy. It's also a bit therapeutic. I like to think of it as a new start. It's refreshing, especially in the cool February air to go down to a near-bald head and well, it always looks good.
Finally started doing my physio exercises too. My left bicep has torn tendons which make my arm look like a 5 year old's. It's kinda sad. Anyway, I saw a physio-therapist a couple weeks ago who gave me exercises to do for a while before going to see any doctors to find out if surgery is possible to repair the damage that happened a year ago thanks to a heavy cat leaping towards my lap while I sat with a cup full of boiling hot chocolate. Stupid fat cat.
Had some healthy debate on Twitter today though not entirely enjoyable. I often take a difficult position naturally since I've found that more often than not, the unpopular position is often the right one. All in all, probably a waste of time and energy as there is just no convincing some people that they are wrong.
I'm not going to talk about anyone else from now on though. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or disrespect anyone. So there will be no more talk of relationships or perspective girlfriends or anything else. Might make it a little less interesting but so be it. This blog is my hobby and I make the rules. Love it or leave it! ;-)
Waiting for dinner. Dad's doing up some nice big salmon fillets. He's such a great cook! Definitely one of the best parts of being home is the quality of the food! Yay.
Not sure what's on the evening's schedule. Might just be a night in. If it is, I may try to figure out what to wear for a nice evening jog in the winter and get out to get a nice blast of cold air into my lungs.
Later peeps!
So today, I've been doing my chores - Laundry mostly but I also cleaned up this little room that I now call home. I had some great lunch and then sadly around 5:00 I laid down and had a nap. That might mess up my night's sleep but I think I needed it.
I shaved my head today. Don't get alarmed, it's just something I do when my hair gets a bit messy. It's also a bit therapeutic. I like to think of it as a new start. It's refreshing, especially in the cool February air to go down to a near-bald head and well, it always looks good.
Finally started doing my physio exercises too. My left bicep has torn tendons which make my arm look like a 5 year old's. It's kinda sad. Anyway, I saw a physio-therapist a couple weeks ago who gave me exercises to do for a while before going to see any doctors to find out if surgery is possible to repair the damage that happened a year ago thanks to a heavy cat leaping towards my lap while I sat with a cup full of boiling hot chocolate. Stupid fat cat.
Had some healthy debate on Twitter today though not entirely enjoyable. I often take a difficult position naturally since I've found that more often than not, the unpopular position is often the right one. All in all, probably a waste of time and energy as there is just no convincing some people that they are wrong.
I'm not going to talk about anyone else from now on though. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or disrespect anyone. So there will be no more talk of relationships or perspective girlfriends or anything else. Might make it a little less interesting but so be it. This blog is my hobby and I make the rules. Love it or leave it! ;-)
Waiting for dinner. Dad's doing up some nice big salmon fillets. He's such a great cook! Definitely one of the best parts of being home is the quality of the food! Yay.
Not sure what's on the evening's schedule. Might just be a night in. If it is, I may try to figure out what to wear for a nice evening jog in the winter and get out to get a nice blast of cold air into my lungs.
Later peeps!
5:11
It's late. I've just come back from a walk. I had a coffee. I smoked 3 cigarettes. I came to a conclusion: This has got to stop!!!
When I started this blog, the intent was for it to act as a log of my return to wellbeing, hence the title Achieving Personal Wellness. I've not done so well to date but I'm not going to beat myself up about it.
Instead, I'm resolving to start a new hobby: Me.
I've just watched the newest Nike Just Do It Human Chain ad. What a brilliant spot. "Everybody gets knocked down. How quick are you gonna get up?"
I'm posting a picture here. This is me at 19. Starting off-guard for Westminster. At the peak of my fitness. That was 19 years ago.
Starting today, I am going to eat better. I am going to start working out. I am going to quit smoking (not today but the plan begins today.) I am going to take more interest in being healthy.
I've found it becomes very easy to fly on autopilot. To just turn off and let negative emotions take over - at least for me. Perhaps I'm a natural pessimist but I think I've also gotten into a state of feeling sorry for myself instead of looking at things more objectively.
I'm a smart, funny, attractive individual with a lot to offer. I get lazy and complacent from time-to-time and right now things aren't as good as they could be. So I need to start addressing my life in the areas that I can make a difference.
I need to go back to my list of 101 key ingredients to make my life better. I need to stop whining. I need to start counting on myself for happiness rather than asking others to provide it for me.
I will. I can. Just do it!
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