I don’t often enough give gratitude for all that I have.
So this post is about exchanging self-pity for gratefulness.
While I lack a job; I am thankful that I have a safe roof over my head and a warm bed at night.
While I wish I had a partner; I am thankful for the times I have had truly amazing women in my life: Jill, Gillian, Jenn and particularly Kathryn, who helped me in my darkest days.
While I lack money; I am thankful that I had a nice car for 6 years, lived alone for 4 ½ years in amazing neighbourhoods, have good, healthy food on the table every night.
While my life is a bit slow right now; I am thankful that I have been to so many great places in the last 3 years: New York City 3 times, Chicago, Vancouver, Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Miami Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Atlanta, Houston (well, maybe not Houston, lol) Washington DC numerous times, Pittsburgh, Boston, Seattle (a bunch of times), Minnesota, Montreal and Portland Oregon.
While I am poor at the moment; I have everything I need to live.
While I am often lonely; I have both my parents and a wonderful network of friends, former bosses and mentors and you reading this.
While I am unemployed; I have a University degree, I have 10 years of diverse experience, a brain that works and a relatively high degree of health.
I live in Canada, one of the greatest countries on earth. I have never been to war, I have not lost any people close to me other than grandparents, I have access to free health care and there are no debtors prisons.
While I could not take it, I was offered a job in Maryland from one of the top Transportation business-people in the US.
I have had the chance to present at International Transportation Conferences and speak about our need to act more responsibly with respect to Greenhouse Gas emissions. In addition, I have been able to attend the last 3 years of the Transportation Research Board's Annual General Meeting in Washington DC, with many free hours to enjoy one of North America's most beautiful Cities.
I have had articles and Op-Eds published in an International Trade magazine. I have been involved with high-level meetings at the City of Toronto, met two Mayors, a host of Deputy Mayors and City Councillors, State Senators, one Governor of a US State and the Secretary of Transportation for the United States.
I have a healthy, loving Cat who gives me licks on the nose and is curled up at my feet looking peaceful and happy.
While my credit has sunk in recent months, I have not yet had to declare bankruptcy.
I have high-speed access, a laptop computer and a Blackberry (though the bill is starting to mount.) My parents have Satellite TV and enjoy good programs. I have a library card and have had time to use it, reading about 15 books in the last 2 months.
I have access to a car. I still have a fairly nice wardrobe. I have lots of music to listen to, nice furniture and a storage locker that is being paid for by my blessed parents.
Mother is through her first round of chemo and radiation, she has access to amazing medical facilities in London and her surgery is scheduled for early in the new year.
While I have high personal debt; I have amazing friends and family who are not calling in the loans. They will be repaid and I will forever be indebted to them. I still have common shares in a Canadian start-up that will someday make some money and hopefully, reward my risk and faith and make our world a little better.
I have the ability to go for nice walks in a safe neighbourhood in a clean City. I have gained weight while living here, met amazing new friends for life, drank many a good draft beer and am still able to enjoy a Starbucks coffee here and there.
I quite possibly have a job lined-up for the future in a great City that I love working for the Province I was born in, doing something I love – building community and serving people in need.
I have lived in Toronto for 11 years.
I have camped in Algonquin Park, seen Bears in the wild with my ex-wife and canoed the waters of Georgian Bay with my father.
While I did some bad deeds in my past and hurt someone very dear to me, she appears to have found happiness and I am grateful for that.
I enjoyed many summers at a cottage on Lake Erie, with a very nice family who did a great deal for me. I will honor their faith in me and my past by living a better life in the future.
Whenever I spill my guts, I don't generally lose friends but rather, I learn more about the people who are my friends. I have received loving feedback, kindness, tolerance, acceptance and forgiveness.
When I put it into this context, I have a pretty great life. I have lots of things to be thankful for. Could I use some greater fulfillment? Yes. Absolutely. But today, I am grateful for all the blessings that I enjoy every single day.
I am sure there are some more things to be grateful for and I will try to list them again in the future.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
The time is Now
As I write this I hope that my words are accurate enough to reflect me true feelings and to shed light on what I’ve learned. I hope that they are not borne of my mind but of some form of consciousness, though of course consciousness cannot truly be reflected in words.
As many know, I am on a continual search to find my calling and to match my inner purpose with an outer purpose. I am getting closer every day to identifying what my calling is and am trying my best not to over think it or to put labels and expectations on this search for purpose.
I believe I am endowed with certain gifts. I am able to write effectively. I have a fair degree of intelligence or occupy a certain portion of collective intelligence if you will, since we are all part of one universe, one intelligence. I am philosophical to a degree. I enjoy questioning what is and why it is. I have been blessed with certain events in my life that have created the person that I am today, as flawed as I remain.
I began this blog to describe a process of growth and a quest for a greater sense of wellness in a number of areas. I believe that wellness is a combination of body, mind and spirit. Plato and Socrates spoke of this type of ideal wellness. One can be entirely physically fit but have nothing but mind and fear (ego) driven aspirations, engaging in acts of physical violence for instance. One can be highly intelligent while engaging in acts of self-destruction. The latter one comes closer to describing my record.
It is now a couple of weeks into this process and I continue to struggle, though not to resist what is.
Recently I started to re-read Ekhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth. I read it before though it did not seem to make as much of an impact. I suppose I still had ego-driven purposes to read it, to protect relationships at the time and not ‘lose’ what I had gained to that point. People who have read and understood these concepts realize that loss and suffering can bring one closer to consciousness, or to a path towards a greater awareness of consciousness. Tolle teaches the reader to accept what ‘is.’
In his books, that combine a number of religious approaches to a search for the Truth, Tolle answers many of the questions that arise within but does not expect to teach a lesson but to provide a guide for the reader. Inner purpose comes from within, not from words or signposts. One cannot therefore read the books and expect simply to put them down and have everything cured for them. To do so kind of misses the whole point. Making the reading of a book the past experience does not bring one closer to consciousness.
How do I struggle? What are the points that I continue to struggle with.
This blog itself is a good example. When I started it I had the intention of providing daily updates, perhaps even twice daily. However I now believe that this blog will act as a journal when I am prepared to treat it as such – not through forcing it but by accepting what I am feeling when I am feeling it. I have resolved to live a more purpose-driven life. But imposing expectations upon oneself and getting frustrated or angry further denies the acceptance that one needs to live more consciously. To find happiness, one must end resistance to what is. If the situation around oneself is not one that creates enjoyment of what ‘is’, the Now, then one has the options to accept it, to change it or to remove oneself from what is.
Confused yet? Don’t over-think it. Breathe. Take deep breaths and pay attention to them. Consciousness can only be entered from the Now because that is all you ever have.
So today, I sit at my parent’s house. I remain unemployed. I continue my search for my outer purpose – my occupation. I do not resist the current state of my life and I have found this has given me happiness, regardless of the outer ‘realities’ of my life. I am still broke financially. I am single. And yet amidst these situations that some might deem to be less desirable, I am incredibly happy, not possessed of one negative judgment about what is. The universe always provides what we need and at the right time.
I am learning more every minute of every day. I practice acceptance as often as possible – to sleeplessness, to my financial status, to my lack of an outer purpose and I am incredibly happy and peaceful. The sense of dread that so grasped me a few months ago has gone. The answers that I need today will be answered soon enough, not through forcing but through accepting what is.
I have come to understand the path that brought me to where I am. Using Ms. Beck’s terms, I have become a teller of backwards stories – what has brought me to where I am today are blessings, not curses. Contained within these lessons (honoring my past) is the key to my future answers.
I have come close to a decision about my future path. It is a path of learning that I am on. I also see a potential to teach others in some way. I am still interested in politics, though more from an analytical perspective than from a participation perspective. I understand so much about what drives our political system and have always been drawn to the field. The state of civil discourse (or uncivil) interests me greatly as do the fields of new media and social networking.
Now time to meditate some more, fold some laundry and figure out where to look for short-term work that will lead to my longer-term goals!
Namaste
As many know, I am on a continual search to find my calling and to match my inner purpose with an outer purpose. I am getting closer every day to identifying what my calling is and am trying my best not to over think it or to put labels and expectations on this search for purpose.
I believe I am endowed with certain gifts. I am able to write effectively. I have a fair degree of intelligence or occupy a certain portion of collective intelligence if you will, since we are all part of one universe, one intelligence. I am philosophical to a degree. I enjoy questioning what is and why it is. I have been blessed with certain events in my life that have created the person that I am today, as flawed as I remain.
I began this blog to describe a process of growth and a quest for a greater sense of wellness in a number of areas. I believe that wellness is a combination of body, mind and spirit. Plato and Socrates spoke of this type of ideal wellness. One can be entirely physically fit but have nothing but mind and fear (ego) driven aspirations, engaging in acts of physical violence for instance. One can be highly intelligent while engaging in acts of self-destruction. The latter one comes closer to describing my record.
It is now a couple of weeks into this process and I continue to struggle, though not to resist what is.
Recently I started to re-read Ekhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth. I read it before though it did not seem to make as much of an impact. I suppose I still had ego-driven purposes to read it, to protect relationships at the time and not ‘lose’ what I had gained to that point. People who have read and understood these concepts realize that loss and suffering can bring one closer to consciousness, or to a path towards a greater awareness of consciousness. Tolle teaches the reader to accept what ‘is.’
In his books, that combine a number of religious approaches to a search for the Truth, Tolle answers many of the questions that arise within but does not expect to teach a lesson but to provide a guide for the reader. Inner purpose comes from within, not from words or signposts. One cannot therefore read the books and expect simply to put them down and have everything cured for them. To do so kind of misses the whole point. Making the reading of a book the past experience does not bring one closer to consciousness.
How do I struggle? What are the points that I continue to struggle with.
This blog itself is a good example. When I started it I had the intention of providing daily updates, perhaps even twice daily. However I now believe that this blog will act as a journal when I am prepared to treat it as such – not through forcing it but by accepting what I am feeling when I am feeling it. I have resolved to live a more purpose-driven life. But imposing expectations upon oneself and getting frustrated or angry further denies the acceptance that one needs to live more consciously. To find happiness, one must end resistance to what is. If the situation around oneself is not one that creates enjoyment of what ‘is’, the Now, then one has the options to accept it, to change it or to remove oneself from what is.
Confused yet? Don’t over-think it. Breathe. Take deep breaths and pay attention to them. Consciousness can only be entered from the Now because that is all you ever have.
So today, I sit at my parent’s house. I remain unemployed. I continue my search for my outer purpose – my occupation. I do not resist the current state of my life and I have found this has given me happiness, regardless of the outer ‘realities’ of my life. I am still broke financially. I am single. And yet amidst these situations that some might deem to be less desirable, I am incredibly happy, not possessed of one negative judgment about what is. The universe always provides what we need and at the right time.
I am learning more every minute of every day. I practice acceptance as often as possible – to sleeplessness, to my financial status, to my lack of an outer purpose and I am incredibly happy and peaceful. The sense of dread that so grasped me a few months ago has gone. The answers that I need today will be answered soon enough, not through forcing but through accepting what is.
I have come to understand the path that brought me to where I am. Using Ms. Beck’s terms, I have become a teller of backwards stories – what has brought me to where I am today are blessings, not curses. Contained within these lessons (honoring my past) is the key to my future answers.
I have come close to a decision about my future path. It is a path of learning that I am on. I also see a potential to teach others in some way. I am still interested in politics, though more from an analytical perspective than from a participation perspective. I understand so much about what drives our political system and have always been drawn to the field. The state of civil discourse (or uncivil) interests me greatly as do the fields of new media and social networking.
Now time to meditate some more, fold some laundry and figure out where to look for short-term work that will lead to my longer-term goals!
Namaste
Saturday, October 10, 2009
2:43 Saturday
Saturday of a Thanksgiving Weekend. It's October 10th already. 9 days have passed since my 38th Birthday. How time flies!!! That I think is this afternoon's lesson. Life passes whether or not you choose to make the most of your time. Today has been a lazy one.
I woke fairly late, 11:00am or so, after staying up late to watch an episode of CSI New York and again having coffee way too late in the day. I have this funny addiction to spending all the money I have at once. I am hoping that frugality is one of the lessons I learn from my downtime over the last 6 months.
So, today being Saturday, perhaps I will get and do some chores. There's a pile of laundry to fold and put away, a bed to be made and storage issues to contend with. It's a lovely day outside, sunny but a bit on the cool side. Perhaps a bike ride this afternoon might better prepare me for a good night's sleep. I may also try to get around to finally doing my 'admissions test' on eLance to generate some sideline (at this point main) income from my writing skills. There's of course also the option to monetize my blogs but I'm not too crazy, plus I'm not sure if anyone actually reads my blogs! lol There's also some good reading to be done today.
Also to be done today is to review the 101 practices outlined by Robin Sharma in Who Will Cry When You Die. The other night I entered them all into an Excel Spreadsheet to prioritize them, note the techniques I am already using and prioritize the others for incorporation into my life.
One thing that's started to bother me is back pain. I am not sure if this is related to my mattress - I wonder if the 4 (out of 5) hardness that I chose is too soft for me. I know that exercise and strengthening my back will also help. Put that on the to-do list as well.
Ok.... so that's the mid-day post for Day 3. Now onto some action - practicing the action habit!!
I woke fairly late, 11:00am or so, after staying up late to watch an episode of CSI New York and again having coffee way too late in the day. I have this funny addiction to spending all the money I have at once. I am hoping that frugality is one of the lessons I learn from my downtime over the last 6 months.
So, today being Saturday, perhaps I will get and do some chores. There's a pile of laundry to fold and put away, a bed to be made and storage issues to contend with. It's a lovely day outside, sunny but a bit on the cool side. Perhaps a bike ride this afternoon might better prepare me for a good night's sleep. I may also try to get around to finally doing my 'admissions test' on eLance to generate some sideline (at this point main) income from my writing skills. There's of course also the option to monetize my blogs but I'm not too crazy, plus I'm not sure if anyone actually reads my blogs! lol There's also some good reading to be done today.
Also to be done today is to review the 101 practices outlined by Robin Sharma in Who Will Cry When You Die. The other night I entered them all into an Excel Spreadsheet to prioritize them, note the techniques I am already using and prioritize the others for incorporation into my life.
One thing that's started to bother me is back pain. I am not sure if this is related to my mattress - I wonder if the 4 (out of 5) hardness that I chose is too soft for me. I know that exercise and strengthening my back will also help. Put that on the to-do list as well.
Ok.... so that's the mid-day post for Day 3. Now onto some action - practicing the action habit!!
Day 3 Post of Day 2
End of Day 2
So… Today. Well. I got over my mental stumbling block, packed away a fool’s pride and made my call to Social Assistance to make an appointment. So I achieved one major goal that I had for the week. The funny thing is that I may already have a job though there are details to be sorted that I can’t really share here yet. Another online friend asked what I was up to these days? He’s the Principal of a major Government Relations firm and a big Liberal. I’m hoping I answered well enough!
Hence my need to create a public record and as a friend recently suggested, be the boy in the bubble! I’m living out lout for sure but I truly hope that what I experience can be of help to those in similar situations. Perhaps you’ve quit smoking and have tips to share? Perhaps you read something I write and it inspires you. I’m hoping for a symbiotic relationship here.
I bought a pack of cigarettes. I had planned to quit (though it wasn’t a choice really) as my money ran out. But I came into a few dollars and well, I was off to the store to ease the pangs. I’m trying to phase it out. I have to read Allan Carr’s book again.
Today I also finished Mitch Albom’s book The Five People You Meet in Heaven and read the first 50 pages of Tuesdays with Morrie. What fantastic books. Totally worth a read and he is such a great writer from a readability perspective. Being a sports journalist certainly formed his writing style and Five People certainly requires some suspension of disbelief or faith but if you just read away, they’re beautiful little books with excellent life lessons. I’ve also read One More Day and would recommend that as well.
It’s Thanksgiving Weekend and so I think I will say thanks all weekend for a few things. Of course top of mind is to be thankful that my mother’s cancer is of a treatable form and that my parents live here in London, home of excellent health care and cancer care, as good as any in the world. I am thankful that I have been here at home during the diagnosis and the start of treatment. I am extremely thankful for my father’s patience and for his quiet and stoic dedication to our family. I aspire to be as good a man.
I also want to express my gratitude to the experiences I have had this year. It has been trying. It has given me perspective. It has reconnected me with my parents. It has helped in a perverse way to strengthen my relationship with my brother and cause me to admire his hard work and dedication. Thanks.
And of course I am thankful for all my friends who have given me moral support and tough love.
Now I better keep some back so that I have more to share over the weekend – it’s a long one!
Today I ate well, particularly for me. I did have one too many coffees but it’s a Friday! ;-) A guy’s got to live a little. I had a nice big bowl of Shredded Wheat and All Bran Buds with a teaspoon of honey. For lunch I had a box of Kraft Dinner with two all beef Ball Park franks, not the greatest but not the worst either. Dinner was also pasta, but with fresh and sun-dried tomatoes, capers and Tuna. A bit of bad planning on my part but I certainly got my share of Carbs today! Need more fruit! I also started with a nice big glass of OJ.
So… Today. Well. I got over my mental stumbling block, packed away a fool’s pride and made my call to Social Assistance to make an appointment. So I achieved one major goal that I had for the week. The funny thing is that I may already have a job though there are details to be sorted that I can’t really share here yet. Another online friend asked what I was up to these days? He’s the Principal of a major Government Relations firm and a big Liberal. I’m hoping I answered well enough!
Hence my need to create a public record and as a friend recently suggested, be the boy in the bubble! I’m living out lout for sure but I truly hope that what I experience can be of help to those in similar situations. Perhaps you’ve quit smoking and have tips to share? Perhaps you read something I write and it inspires you. I’m hoping for a symbiotic relationship here.
I bought a pack of cigarettes. I had planned to quit (though it wasn’t a choice really) as my money ran out. But I came into a few dollars and well, I was off to the store to ease the pangs. I’m trying to phase it out. I have to read Allan Carr’s book again.
Today I also finished Mitch Albom’s book The Five People You Meet in Heaven and read the first 50 pages of Tuesdays with Morrie. What fantastic books. Totally worth a read and he is such a great writer from a readability perspective. Being a sports journalist certainly formed his writing style and Five People certainly requires some suspension of disbelief or faith but if you just read away, they’re beautiful little books with excellent life lessons. I’ve also read One More Day and would recommend that as well.
It’s Thanksgiving Weekend and so I think I will say thanks all weekend for a few things. Of course top of mind is to be thankful that my mother’s cancer is of a treatable form and that my parents live here in London, home of excellent health care and cancer care, as good as any in the world. I am thankful that I have been here at home during the diagnosis and the start of treatment. I am extremely thankful for my father’s patience and for his quiet and stoic dedication to our family. I aspire to be as good a man.
I also want to express my gratitude to the experiences I have had this year. It has been trying. It has given me perspective. It has reconnected me with my parents. It has helped in a perverse way to strengthen my relationship with my brother and cause me to admire his hard work and dedication. Thanks.
And of course I am thankful for all my friends who have given me moral support and tough love.
Now I better keep some back so that I have more to share over the weekend – it’s a long one!
Today I ate well, particularly for me. I did have one too many coffees but it’s a Friday! ;-) A guy’s got to live a little. I had a nice big bowl of Shredded Wheat and All Bran Buds with a teaspoon of honey. For lunch I had a box of Kraft Dinner with two all beef Ball Park franks, not the greatest but not the worst either. Dinner was also pasta, but with fresh and sun-dried tomatoes, capers and Tuna. A bit of bad planning on my part but I certainly got my share of Carbs today! Need more fruit! I also started with a nice big glass of OJ.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Day One
Well...I rate it a 3.
I am getting close to a breakthrough. I am cutting back on the cigarettes after getting enough money for a last pack or two. Tomorrow I must call Ontario Works. Here, in London. We'll see what happens. If I go away or have to rearrange it for Toronto, I will cross that bridge when I come to it. If I have to look for anything, with a job pending in Toronto, so be it.
Okay. So...It's late. I don't want to completely shun my family either and we always eat late. That leads to a walk for me. I read 25 pages of Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. Sharpa recommends Tuesdays with Morie and I've read One More Day. Apparently Tuesdays is downstairs. Great books all of them. Good lessons and a very readable writing style.
I didn't get much physical exercise today. Tomorrow I will post what would be my ideal day. Things will shift for sure, especially when I start the new job. I anticipate very long days. Can't wait!!!
I am upbeat overall. I've smoked less today and almost quit. It's hard to get started. Excuses, Excuses. Time to read Easy Way again. I'm also just starting to read The Power of Now again. All these books tie in together quite nicely. Now it's putting it all into practice. Even Beck's Starlight book talks about being true to your destiny, finding happiness within, being in the Now, seeing trials as tests to strengthen you, the voice of fear/EGO and being. Carr's approach is to create a demon that is the nicotine addiction and to just pat it on the head, which is Beck's approach to dealing with one's fears. Sharma talks about recognizing your problems first in order to solve them and controlling your 'Monkey Mind' which is akin to Tolle's discussions about stepping back to recognize when thought is driven by the EGO.
So, I feel that as I get closer to Tolle's definition of enlightenment, to be awake and conscious and use one's mind as a tool rather than being a tool of one's mind, I will get closer to quitting smoking and leading a better life, fitter and more active with more energy and eating a healthy diet. Once I can do that I will also recognize, I believe my true calling in life. See, writing really does help me figure this stuff out.
I also took a nap today. That's after sleeping from about 6:00 am to 11:00 am. Dreadful, even if I'm not working right now. With that, I sign off from Day 1! More in the morning.
I am getting close to a breakthrough. I am cutting back on the cigarettes after getting enough money for a last pack or two. Tomorrow I must call Ontario Works. Here, in London. We'll see what happens. If I go away or have to rearrange it for Toronto, I will cross that bridge when I come to it. If I have to look for anything, with a job pending in Toronto, so be it.
Okay. So...It's late. I don't want to completely shun my family either and we always eat late. That leads to a walk for me. I read 25 pages of Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. Sharpa recommends Tuesdays with Morie and I've read One More Day. Apparently Tuesdays is downstairs. Great books all of them. Good lessons and a very readable writing style.
I didn't get much physical exercise today. Tomorrow I will post what would be my ideal day. Things will shift for sure, especially when I start the new job. I anticipate very long days. Can't wait!!!
I am upbeat overall. I've smoked less today and almost quit. It's hard to get started. Excuses, Excuses. Time to read Easy Way again. I'm also just starting to read The Power of Now again. All these books tie in together quite nicely. Now it's putting it all into practice. Even Beck's Starlight book talks about being true to your destiny, finding happiness within, being in the Now, seeing trials as tests to strengthen you, the voice of fear/EGO and being. Carr's approach is to create a demon that is the nicotine addiction and to just pat it on the head, which is Beck's approach to dealing with one's fears. Sharma talks about recognizing your problems first in order to solve them and controlling your 'Monkey Mind' which is akin to Tolle's discussions about stepping back to recognize when thought is driven by the EGO.
So, I feel that as I get closer to Tolle's definition of enlightenment, to be awake and conscious and use one's mind as a tool rather than being a tool of one's mind, I will get closer to quitting smoking and leading a better life, fitter and more active with more energy and eating a healthy diet. Once I can do that I will also recognize, I believe my true calling in life. See, writing really does help me figure this stuff out.
I also took a nap today. That's after sleeping from about 6:00 am to 11:00 am. Dreadful, even if I'm not working right now. With that, I sign off from Day 1! More in the morning.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Slow Start to day one
October 8th 11:41
I suspected this might happen. LOL - a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step though.
So, I just got up at 11:15. I've had a glass of Orange Juice, put on a pot of coffee and am waiting for a callback from my next boss. I also had 2 cigarettes with the first cup of coffee. Oh well. This is the place I'm at and the reason I need to make changes in the first place. I was up awfully early/late so I have to:
Stop drinking Coffee after dinner. I will enjoy a couple of cups in the afternoon but none after 6:00.
I am also going to be working on refining the 10 guiding rules/principles that I posted below. After my post this morning, I made a spreadsheet of Robin Sharma's 101 practices which I'd be happy to send to any of you if you're reading this. Some of them I already do on a regular basis, others will take more practice and still other are long-term goals, not short-term to-dos. As I master these 101, I will try to develop my own new practices to incorporate into my life.
Now...to plan the rest of my day. I already have written out the concept of a "Perfect Day" which is the basic building blocks to leading a more successful and meaningful existence.
Namaste!
I suspected this might happen. LOL - a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step though.
So, I just got up at 11:15. I've had a glass of Orange Juice, put on a pot of coffee and am waiting for a callback from my next boss. I also had 2 cigarettes with the first cup of coffee. Oh well. This is the place I'm at and the reason I need to make changes in the first place. I was up awfully early/late so I have to:
Stop drinking Coffee after dinner. I will enjoy a couple of cups in the afternoon but none after 6:00.
I am also going to be working on refining the 10 guiding rules/principles that I posted below. After my post this morning, I made a spreadsheet of Robin Sharma's 101 practices which I'd be happy to send to any of you if you're reading this. Some of them I already do on a regular basis, others will take more practice and still other are long-term goals, not short-term to-dos. As I master these 101, I will try to develop my own new practices to incorporate into my life.
Now...to plan the rest of my day. I already have written out the concept of a "Perfect Day" which is the basic building blocks to leading a more successful and meaningful existence.
Namaste!
Be The Change You Most Wish To See In The World
Okay. I'll admit it. I love blogs. Not necessarily other people’s blogs mind you. I enjoy the growth that they have offered me so far and so, I thought one more wouldn’t hurt the world. As you can see from the title, this blog will be serving a very different purpose than the others I’ve created and sporadically maintained in the past. This one may be even more self-obsessed than anything I’ve done. It may also, hopefully, act as a guide for others who are seeking more from life than they might currently enjoy.
Now that my confessional is over, let me explain a bit more about the purpose of this blog and its guiding principles. My other blogs dealt with Music and politics. This one will be a little more purpose-driven than those ones. My purpose: To publish some very personal facts, to act as a public journal and record of achievement and to inspire me to stick to my goals.
If you know me, particularly if you know me from Facebook, you’ll know that I’ve had a rather rough year. More accurately, from last September until this September, I was having a very rough go at life. Actually, more accurately, I can most likely predate my struggles to the time of my divorce in 2005. Actually, more accurately, I could trace it back as far as you like. I am a result of the experiences I’ve lived but I see those only as positives all meant to help me develop into a better human being.
For instance, I perceive that many people might presume that things come fairly easily to me – social interaction, political thinking, being? However, for any number of reasons I won’t explain here, I’ve always struggled with a negative inner voice that has made silly excuses for not working harder, doing better, risking more. We all have that voice but some of us are better at ignoring it than others. It is the voice that Ekhart Tolle would describe as the EGO.
So here I sit. It’s 4:30 in the morning and I have a coffee. I’m 38 years old. I am more or less financially broke and I owe a lot of money. I have some bowel/rectal issues that have plagued me for about 5 years. I smoke about a pack a day and drink too much coffee. I weigh roughly 150 lbs even though I’m about 5’11. I am unemployed (though I have a job starting soon, I hope) but I’ve been in-and-out of work for the last year since my former employer laid me off. I have some great things but nothing of high value. I also have an incredible family but I am completely single.
But those are all the small details that don’t seem to mean too much to me at the moment other than to be a list of those things I need to tackle. I am living in the Now and not worrying tremendously about things. In fact, until a few weeks ago I had a very ugly case of dry skin on my knuckles that had formed scabs. Those have more or less cleared up. My bum is also feeling slight better. Stress truly is a killer and I have no doubt, my mishandling of this stress caused a near breakdown in late June.
So what are my goals?
One: To regain my health
Two: to quit smoking
Three: to quit coffee
Four: To gain 20 lbs
Five: To have a debt-reduction plan leading to the end of my debt
Six: To give back more than I have before
Seven: To pursue my passion for driving change
Eight: To restart my learning, gain new skills
Nine: To get more enjoyment out of life
Ten: To recession-proof myself
Eleven: To live my perfect day every day
Twelve: To achieve inner happiness and peace
This list may of course change. It will change as I start to attain my goals.
This blog will most likely reference various tools that I use on this journey. I enjoy books and of course, these books have already brought me much peace of mind. As I gain new books, I will speak about them. However, some of the books that have led me to this point, where I am vowing to lead a healthier, more productive and fulfilling lifestyle are listed here:
1. The Power of Now – Ekhart Tolle
2. Steering By Starlight – Martha Beck
3. Who Will Cry When You Die – Robin Sharma
4. The Easy Way to Quit Smoking – Dr. Allan Carr
5. Various Men’s Health magazines and books
I look forward to writing about the various lessons I learn, the struggles I undergo, my failures and hopefully more of my successes. I’ll try to be honest to what I am thinking, feeling and doing and not to gloss over the gory parts that ideally will be minimal. I’ll also try to ensure that I keep my Facebook and Twitter accounts updated as I go.
The format will vary I’m sure. Some days I may just write a quick journal-style note about the things I learned throughout the day. Some times I will include anecdotes about struggles I’ve had, people I’ve met along the way, good readings from my books and new books I pick up. Perhaps there will be inspirational quotes too!
Lastly, I hope that you will give me your feedback so that I can fine-tune this blog as I go and of course I hope to learn from reader’s comments (I hope there are readers!)
Wednesday October 8, 2009
4:55am
Starting new Blog today to establish my goals, set some targets for achievement and fulfillment, share experiences and lessons as I go.
First principles to work on: (from Who will Cry When you Die)
1. Discover your calling
2. Practice Tough Love
3. Keep a Journal
4. Start Your Day Well
5. Care For the Temple
6. See your Troubles as Blessings
7. Get Serious about Setting Goals (check)
8. Get Up Early
9. List Your problems (check)
10. Practice the Action Habit
Some of the above are longer-term goals. I’m up now but may have to take a nap shortly. I have set some goals here. I have elsewhere written down the things I have to do today like calling the Ontario Works office to enquire about assistance to move to Toronto in the coming weeks. I now see all my troubles as blessings. When I get up I will have a good breakfast. I will smoke less today in order that I am prepared to quit without borrowing any more money.
Hope this first one isn’t too dry and encourages you all to come back.
Here’s my saying of the day, taken from Robin Sharma’s book title which is based on a Sanskrit saying: “When you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die the world cries while you rejoice!” And I will add to that Mahatma Gandhi’s “Be the change that you most wish to see in the world.”
Now that my confessional is over, let me explain a bit more about the purpose of this blog and its guiding principles. My other blogs dealt with Music and politics. This one will be a little more purpose-driven than those ones. My purpose: To publish some very personal facts, to act as a public journal and record of achievement and to inspire me to stick to my goals.
If you know me, particularly if you know me from Facebook, you’ll know that I’ve had a rather rough year. More accurately, from last September until this September, I was having a very rough go at life. Actually, more accurately, I can most likely predate my struggles to the time of my divorce in 2005. Actually, more accurately, I could trace it back as far as you like. I am a result of the experiences I’ve lived but I see those only as positives all meant to help me develop into a better human being.
For instance, I perceive that many people might presume that things come fairly easily to me – social interaction, political thinking, being? However, for any number of reasons I won’t explain here, I’ve always struggled with a negative inner voice that has made silly excuses for not working harder, doing better, risking more. We all have that voice but some of us are better at ignoring it than others. It is the voice that Ekhart Tolle would describe as the EGO.
So here I sit. It’s 4:30 in the morning and I have a coffee. I’m 38 years old. I am more or less financially broke and I owe a lot of money. I have some bowel/rectal issues that have plagued me for about 5 years. I smoke about a pack a day and drink too much coffee. I weigh roughly 150 lbs even though I’m about 5’11. I am unemployed (though I have a job starting soon, I hope) but I’ve been in-and-out of work for the last year since my former employer laid me off. I have some great things but nothing of high value. I also have an incredible family but I am completely single.
But those are all the small details that don’t seem to mean too much to me at the moment other than to be a list of those things I need to tackle. I am living in the Now and not worrying tremendously about things. In fact, until a few weeks ago I had a very ugly case of dry skin on my knuckles that had formed scabs. Those have more or less cleared up. My bum is also feeling slight better. Stress truly is a killer and I have no doubt, my mishandling of this stress caused a near breakdown in late June.
So what are my goals?
One: To regain my health
Two: to quit smoking
Three: to quit coffee
Four: To gain 20 lbs
Five: To have a debt-reduction plan leading to the end of my debt
Six: To give back more than I have before
Seven: To pursue my passion for driving change
Eight: To restart my learning, gain new skills
Nine: To get more enjoyment out of life
Ten: To recession-proof myself
Eleven: To live my perfect day every day
Twelve: To achieve inner happiness and peace
This list may of course change. It will change as I start to attain my goals.
This blog will most likely reference various tools that I use on this journey. I enjoy books and of course, these books have already brought me much peace of mind. As I gain new books, I will speak about them. However, some of the books that have led me to this point, where I am vowing to lead a healthier, more productive and fulfilling lifestyle are listed here:
1. The Power of Now – Ekhart Tolle
2. Steering By Starlight – Martha Beck
3. Who Will Cry When You Die – Robin Sharma
4. The Easy Way to Quit Smoking – Dr. Allan Carr
5. Various Men’s Health magazines and books
I look forward to writing about the various lessons I learn, the struggles I undergo, my failures and hopefully more of my successes. I’ll try to be honest to what I am thinking, feeling and doing and not to gloss over the gory parts that ideally will be minimal. I’ll also try to ensure that I keep my Facebook and Twitter accounts updated as I go.
The format will vary I’m sure. Some days I may just write a quick journal-style note about the things I learned throughout the day. Some times I will include anecdotes about struggles I’ve had, people I’ve met along the way, good readings from my books and new books I pick up. Perhaps there will be inspirational quotes too!
Lastly, I hope that you will give me your feedback so that I can fine-tune this blog as I go and of course I hope to learn from reader’s comments (I hope there are readers!)
Wednesday October 8, 2009
4:55am
Starting new Blog today to establish my goals, set some targets for achievement and fulfillment, share experiences and lessons as I go.
First principles to work on: (from Who will Cry When you Die)
1. Discover your calling
2. Practice Tough Love
3. Keep a Journal
4. Start Your Day Well
5. Care For the Temple
6. See your Troubles as Blessings
7. Get Serious about Setting Goals (check)
8. Get Up Early
9. List Your problems (check)
10. Practice the Action Habit
Some of the above are longer-term goals. I’m up now but may have to take a nap shortly. I have set some goals here. I have elsewhere written down the things I have to do today like calling the Ontario Works office to enquire about assistance to move to Toronto in the coming weeks. I now see all my troubles as blessings. When I get up I will have a good breakfast. I will smoke less today in order that I am prepared to quit without borrowing any more money.
Hope this first one isn’t too dry and encourages you all to come back.
Here’s my saying of the day, taken from Robin Sharma’s book title which is based on a Sanskrit saying: “When you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die the world cries while you rejoice!” And I will add to that Mahatma Gandhi’s “Be the change that you most wish to see in the world.”
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