Gratitude

I don’t often enough give gratitude for all that I have.

So this post is about exchanging self-pity for gratefulness.

While I lack a job; I am thankful that I have a safe roof over my head and a warm bed at night.

While I wish I had a partner; I am thankful for the times I have had truly amazing women in my life: Jill, Gillian, Jenn and particularly Kathryn, who helped me in my darkest days.

While I lack money; I am thankful that I had a nice car for 6 years, lived alone for 4 ½ years in amazing neighbourhoods, have good, healthy food on the table every night.

While my life is a bit slow right now; I am thankful that I have been to so many great places in the last 3 years: New York City 3 times, Chicago, Vancouver, Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Miami Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Atlanta, Houston (well, maybe not Houston, lol) Washington DC numerous times, Pittsburgh, Boston, Seattle (a bunch of times), Minnesota, Montreal and Portland Oregon.

While I am poor at the moment; I have everything I need to live.

While I am often lonely; I have both my parents and a wonderful network of friends, former bosses and mentors and you reading this.

While I am unemployed; I have a University degree, I have 10 years of diverse experience, a brain that works and a relatively high degree of health.

I live in Canada, one of the greatest countries on earth. I have never been to war, I have not lost any people close to me other than grandparents, I have access to free health care and there are no debtors prisons.

While I could not take it, I was offered a job in Maryland from one of the top Transportation business-people in the US.

I have had the chance to present at International Transportation Conferences and speak about our need to act more responsibly with respect to Greenhouse Gas emissions. In addition, I have been able to attend the last 3 years of the Transportation Research Board's Annual General Meeting in Washington DC, with many free hours to enjoy one of North America's most beautiful Cities.

I have had articles and Op-Eds published in an International Trade magazine. I have been involved with high-level meetings at the City of Toronto, met two Mayors, a host of Deputy Mayors and City Councillors, State Senators, one Governor of a US State and the Secretary of Transportation for the United States.

I have a healthy, loving Cat who gives me licks on the nose and is curled up at my feet looking peaceful and happy.

While my credit has sunk in recent months, I have not yet had to declare bankruptcy.

I have high-speed access, a laptop computer and a Blackberry (though the bill is starting to mount.) My parents have Satellite TV and enjoy good programs. I have a library card and have had time to use it, reading about 15 books in the last 2 months.

I have access to a car. I still have a fairly nice wardrobe. I have lots of music to listen to, nice furniture and a storage locker that is being paid for by my blessed parents.

Mother is through her first round of chemo and radiation, she has access to amazing medical facilities in London and her surgery is scheduled for early in the new year.

While I have high personal debt; I have amazing friends and family who are not calling in the loans. They will be repaid and I will forever be indebted to them. I still have common shares in a Canadian start-up that will someday make some money and hopefully, reward my risk and faith and make our world a little better.

I have the ability to go for nice walks in a safe neighbourhood in a clean City. I have gained weight while living here, met amazing new friends for life, drank many a good draft beer and am still able to enjoy a Starbucks coffee here and there.

I quite possibly have a job lined-up for the future in a great City that I love working for the Province I was born in, doing something I love – building community and serving people in need.

I have lived in Toronto for 11 years.

I have camped in Algonquin Park, seen Bears in the wild with my ex-wife and canoed the waters of Georgian Bay with my father.

While I did some bad deeds in my past and hurt someone very dear to me, she appears to have found happiness and I am grateful for that.

I enjoyed many summers at a cottage on Lake Erie, with a very nice family who did a great deal for me. I will honor their faith in me and my past by living a better life in the future.

Whenever I spill my guts, I don't generally lose friends but rather, I learn more about the people who are my friends. I have received loving feedback, kindness, tolerance, acceptance and forgiveness.

When I put it into this context, I have a pretty great life. I have lots of things to be thankful for. Could I use some greater fulfillment? Yes. Absolutely. But today, I am grateful for all the blessings that I enjoy every single day.

I am sure there are some more things to be grateful for and I will try to list them again in the future.